Books I've Read: Scissor Me Timbers by Phrique

I am probably one of the worst people to ask to read an ARC or a Galley copy because I am a very slow reader unless its something I am dying to read.

Early on during the creation of this book, author Phrique asked for my opinion on a few scenes here and there. But the closer to the finish line he got, he asked if I would beta-read it. Well, when I started and pointed out of a few errors… it was already with an editor. So, this was not a beta read but a “galley” which is a finished manuscript but not the finished and final draft. That’s better because I’d hate for him to waiting on me when I am a slow-ass reader.

First, let’s talk about the cover. OMG. The stainglass church window is a vagina. Seriously, it is a great cover.

Now on to the book… Reading the “galley,” I ignored all the grammar and misspellings and focused on the story itself. It’s about a Lumberjack woman, who I can’t tell if she’s butch or femme. I think she’s somewhere in the middle because while she is butch at the beginning of the book, she somehow develops a soft-girly side which threw my off at first. Well, she is in a car accident and is found by a small convent of nuns in the forest. (No eye rolls yet).

When the main character wakes up, she has lost her memory and has no idea who she is or where she came from. The nuns nurse her back to help, with a little TLC-lesbian style.

There are a cast of characters, many of which are not important but act important to the story. Because of that, I had trouble following who was who, and couldn’t remember people’s names. There were an abundance of people thrown at you all at once without much backstory to care about them.

There a really four main characters… the lumberjack, the Mother Superior, her assistant, and a sister who tends to be a wandering soul. None of which get it on with the injured lumberjack.

There is a solid story underneath it all. One that kept me interested but it felt muddled by everyday humdrum life in a convent. Yes, there is lesbian sex which is are very good scenes. I’ve read bad sex scenes but for a gay man, Phrique wrote the scenes well. There is horror - the best being a young nun who kills an entire monastery.

The book has potential… and it was left on a bit of a cliff hanger, so I’d like to see where Phrique takes the lumberjack next.